"After having been smitten by my burning desire for a cute young man from Canada, Scott Reid, I think we should now make an exception to any future amendment banning gay marriage.

I hereby propose that a passionate love between a wealthy older queen like myself or J. Edgar Hoover and a young stud should be able to be consummated under the law.

Senator Santorum, the Senate expert on bestiality, tells me there was already a precedent in ancient Greece for this sort of relationship, and it was considered quite normal back then.

Santorum also says that Greece was the first democracy, it's funny the things you learn when you fall in love.

Thank you and many hugs and kisses to Scotty Boy," said President Bush.