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"Since we're gonna get our butts whooped in November anyway, I decided to put the screws to you working class bastards and take away your stinking socialist holiday. 

In fact, Oligarch's Day will be celebrated every Saturday by having labor work an extra day a week without getting paid for it.  I figure that would boost productivity by 20%!

Hell, you working stiffs should already be used to wage deflation by now!

I'd lower the minimum wage too if I could, but Karl says that I can't do that without an act of Congress," said Mr. Bush to a small crowd of paid attendees and political hacks.