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Dick Cheney - News Parody Cartoon

Cheney: Kerry Win Risks Asteroid Hit

DES MOINES, Iowa (IWR News Parody) - A win in November by Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry would put the United States at risk of another "devastating" asteroid impact, Vice President Dick Cheney told supporters Tuesday.

Cheney told a group loony Republican supporters at a town hall meeting in Des Moines that they needed to make "the right choice" in the November election.

"If we make the wrong choice, then the danger is that we'll get hit again just like the dinosaurs did 65 million years ago in the Yucatan -- that we'll be hit in a way that will be cataclysmic from the standpoint of the United States," Cheney said.

"And then we'll fall back into the liberal pre-Cretaceous mindset, if you will, that in fact these asteroid impacts are just low probability events. I think that would be a terrible mistake for us."

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Internet Weekly Report First Issued on 12/15/2001,
Copyright Internet Weekly Report 2001-2004.

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