"On this historic occasion, here at this flea market in San Jose, we need to put an end, once and for all, to the Age of Enlightenment and just say 'no' to science, the teaching evolution in schools, and all this ghastly stem cell research devilry.

Poor Mrs. Reagan got hoodwinked by her evil Hollywood 'friends' and came out in favor of research to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease because she thought it would help 'The Gipper'. 

But did it help her or Ronnie? No way, Jose! No pun intended. Because my husband, who is such a forward thinking genius, banned most embryonic stem cell research in this country. 

Let those pagan French and German bastards go to hell if they want to, but we Americans will be on the Rapture fast track when the day of reckoning arrives.

Let me tell you a little secret that Reverend Falwell told me.  Jesus hates science!  Well George and I hate science too!

If God didn't want us to suffer, he never would have created uppity servants, Arabs or trade unions, let alone, people with Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease.

So the next time some satanic science show like Nova comes on the TV, just say 'No' and immediately change the channel to the 700 Club or Fox News.

Now if you all will excuse me, I have to pick up some tube socks and bowling trophies for Dubya at this here flea market," said Laura Bush with her flags flying in the breeze.